Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving Day







Well, well, today is Thanksgiving Day. I wonder how Malaysian christians will celebrate today. I think most probably attending church services or inviting family members to the house to have dinner together and chit chat along.

As for me, I will go back home and cook dinner for 2 (yes, for me and my hubby). Then me and my hubby will relax ourselves on the cushion and watch the television while sipping our red wine. I am sure Astro channels will have lots of shows featuring movies related to Thanksgiving Day.

So, how about you out there? How would you celebrate this glorious day? Mind to share?

Friday, November 10, 2006

How out are you?(In the closet or totally out of the closet)

Have you ever asked yourself how out are you in your life? I mean in gay scene/community.

As for me, I consider myself totally out of the closet since at the age of 11 years old. I find this is important as people around us do have their rights to know actually who we are. Also, it is better for us to reveal our true identity rather than being found out by our family members, friends, close friends and fellow colleagues. This is because if people around us found out our true identity by then, they will feel being betrayed due to our sincerity. More over, our lives will be like living in the shadow or behind a mask and believe me it is very depressing spiritually and mentally. For example; there is a person you love him/her very much but you are afraid to tell him/her. Can you imagine how hard to live on like that the rest of you life around that person. BUT if you had said it out to that person you love very much, it would be a release irregardless the answer from that person whether positive or negative. Thus, at least you are make known the feeling towards you of that person and then you could go on with your lives. So the same ting happen in revealing your true identity, which means to announce whether you are gay or straight or bi-sexual.

By doing that, you will start to feel a relief and people around you will know how to react towards you. It is simple, either the continue to be friends/fellow colleagues and of course family members have no choice but to live with it. Also, from here we can really find out who is the true friends/fellow-colleagues of ours. Besides, you will have nothing to hide from anyone anymore and chances of getting depression is minimize becaouse there are other matters that we need to deal as we grow older.

So, as for me I started to realise what kind of life I want to be and that is to be a true gay as I do like guys/men in an early age. Yet from that onwards I am living towards proving to others that being a gay is not like having sex with any guy I know along the road. Being gay is only differencing myself from the straight people. As for love I am just like the rest of the people in this world. I do belive in fate, faith, truthfully, sincerity and forever. So, as along my growing up I do come across many falls, happiness and crying due to in searching to find someone to love me deeply as I did in return. Having the strong faith that I will anyhow find my Mr. Right.

Finally at the age of 27 years old, I finally found my Mr. Right and we have been staying together for 8 years now and still be together. Our lives has stepped in to the level we call husband and wife. I am the wife role and performing what always a straight wifes do in the house and family affair. Of course one thing for sure is I definitely can't give birth to a child, other than that I can consider perfect, hehehehehehe...... .

Yet I don't stop there being a gay. In liue of my pass experience, I am willing to share my experience with other gay member be it a top or a bottom; as long as I am needed. So, I do open to anyone out there who is seeking a friend to share their worries, curiousity, losts (in terms of directions) and etc, I am always here to listen and share with you my passed experiences.

Well, that's a bit of me and why & how I am totally out of the closet.